Paula Abdul finds excuses for being insane

Paula Abdul admits that she's been acting weird lately, but blames it on Simon Cowell. Abdul told In Touch Weekly, "If they say, `Paula is going crazy,' the reason is Simon is whispering things in my ear, like, `What's the price of beans?' Things that make no sense at all." She also says, "Simon gave me advice and said on `The X Factor' he always refers to a fortune cookie and says the moth who finds the melon finds the cornflake always finds the melon and one of you didn't pick the right fortune."

I have no idea what she's talking about. Listening to her is like listening to a parrot play scrabble. It's also physically painful. Moreso when I punch the television.

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